I dropped it, yes I did……

Kingsley Memorial
That is a picture of Kingsley’s memorial paw print.

I got it on Saturday and just seeing it made me cry, bringing back so many memories of the basset I had loved for over ten years. Since he passed away just over a month ago I have of course been thinking of him but the random crying was down to a minimum and I was smiling more than crying. Still missing him but feeling so grateful to have had as much time with him as we did. Enjoying old photos and remembering stories of Kingsley being Kingsley. One of a kind he was.

The paw print made it all fresh again and I held it and ran my fingers over it, remembering the bossy paw that would hit my leg or arm when it was time to be fed or go for a walk. After having a bit of a cry, I put it back in it’s container, stood up and dropped it.

I saw it fall in slow motion, reaching for it as it fell. I heard myself saying “NOOOOOOOO…..” as it fell and I think I started crying before it hit the ground. Then I sat and looked at the broken memory and cried. Then I slowly opened the container and looked at the pieces and cried. I held the pieces and cried. I tried to put them back together and cried.

I put them aside for awhile because looking at them just broke my heart every time I saw them and I would start crying again. They can’t make another one, it’s a one of a kind, just like Kingsley. I found this out after a call to the vet clinic, it was worth a shot to ask. I wasn’t sure how they made them. Then I cried again. It was like losing Kingsley all over again. Dramatic yes, overly so, probably.

The next day I went and bought glue and hoped it would work. It did. It’s not perfect as you can see but the pieces are back together. I can again run my hands over it and hold it. It is now back in it’s container and in a safe place. Perhaps the cracks are more fitting for Kingsley. He was a basset from a broken home, which gave him two homes to be spoiled and loved in and my heart broke when he passed away. I miss him everyday and now looking at the broken paw print, perhaps this is how it should be.

No matter that it broke and now shows the cracks of my clumsiness. No matter that I broke a one of a kind memory of my boy. I think my boy, Kingsley, would shake his head and think…… OF COURSE she dropped it….. have you met her? If he was here he would roll his eyes (I swear he could roll his eyes) and give me that look, that look that I miss so much.

It is still just as precious to me and now I’ll forever keep it in a safe place, taking it out occasionally and running my fingers over it. A reminder of my boy and that we aren’t perfect but that there is a beauty in putting the pieces back together.

The Basset Nap

Basset Nap

Oh I will miss the basset nap. After a long walk Kingsley loved to cozy in for a nap and even though he was a little heavy, I loved him sleeping on me. This is an old picture he’s probably around a year old.

I will miss the basset breath in my face and him pushing himself around trying to get comfy. Will miss him giving me the evil basset eye if I had to get up before he was ready. He would grunt at me like a grumpy old man and then cozy back in by himself.

Basset Weekend!

Kingsley home 2

This is the first time I’ve seen Kingsley in three weeks. After the trip to Iceland I had to wait another week for my weekend to see the dog. I share him, my ex and I have a custody agreement about the dog. The arrangement has worked out really well for six years.

When Kingsley arrived he was aloof and stand-offish, I started to wonder if he had heard about the dog I met in Iceland. The CUTEST, SWEETEST little Icelandic sheepdog. So my boy was giving me the cold shoulder.

Kingsley home 1

Then we talked about it and I assured him that he was still my number one, I think he was listening.

Kingsley home 3

I gave him a chew stick, his favourite. He got distracted trying to hide it and forgot about being mad at me.

Kingsley home 4

He tried out several hiding places.

Kingsley home 6

Kingsley home 5

By the end of the night everything was back to normal.

Kingsley excitement

I think he was excited to see me again…… Basset excitement is the best, very subtle but the best.

Kingsley and Me….

Kingsley Couch

This weekend the weather was miserable. Even before it started snowing it was grey and gloomy out, Kingsley and I went out for a walk Saturday morning and I took him for the long loop not knowing what the weather would be like later. If he doesn’t get enough of a walk he becomes whiney and cranky.

Then we came home and cozied in on the couch, me with a cup of tea and the basset happily snoring and drooling next to me. Flicking through the channels on the t.v. I discovered “Marley and Me” was on. I should not watch this movie, I know I should not watch this movie but I can’t help myself.

The tale of a misbehaving labrador brings back all the memories of a misbehaving basset and how now I can laugh at all his misadventures. As the movie approaches the end I start to cry, that crying will turn into sobbing that will last well past the movie and Kingsley will want to shake free from me holding him. He’s been through this before.

This time though just before the end the door buzzer went, it was the census guy so I buzzed him in. I wiped my eyes and tried to look like I wasn’t crying. As I opened the door Kingsley had to stick his nose out and greet the new person. The guy greeted him enthusiastically and asked his name, his age and then…….. how long do they live???

Well I started crying, while choking out forever. Suddenly a fun encounter had turned incredibly awkward. He took up his pen and clip board and I snuffled and tried to stop crying as he asked the questions. I was also kneeling down hugging Kingsley, so he had kneeled down to ask the questions. As he left he said “He’s in good shape, lot of life left in him…..”

With that Kingsley and I went back inside just in time for the end of “Marley and Me”. Kingsley seemed to understand and sat half on my lap as I watched the end and sobbed. Pets become such a part of our lives and while they are with us we can’t even imagine life without them and maybe that’s why I don’t like to watch “Marley and Me” it reminds us that they won’t be with us forever.

While he is with me I will enjoy Kingsley and get in as many basset naps as possible, which is what we did after the movie. Curling up spooning with the basset is my favourite way to spend a lazy afternoon.