It was Mothers Day on Sunday, how was your Mothers Day?
I’m not a Mother (except to a Basset, that counts right?) but this weekend I didn’t have him (I have joint custody of said Basset, who just had surgery and is recovering with his “Dad” he’s in good hands).
Mothers Day for me is about my Mother. It’s not a day I usually look forward to and this year I decided that I was just going to suck it up and not take things so personally. I was going to listen to the compliment and block out the sentence that comes after. My Mom is pretty good at the old one two. The compliment as bait and then the backhand, so you’re not quite sure if it was a compliment or not. So on Sunday I took the carrot and ducked the backhand.
You know what happened? I had a lovely afternoon with my Mom. She was delighted with her card and the chocolates I got her. Loved that we went for brunch at a simple little place. My Mom was on her best behaviour and so was I. We talked travel, my Mom is heading to Brazil soon to go kayaking. My Mother is seventy-two. She loves to travel, last year she went to Bhutan. We talked about plans for my next trip to Iceland, perhaps a love of travel is a good trait passed on.
We spoke about family back in England and even briefly about my brother and her grandson. Those were danced around but handled with care. My brother and I do not get along. At all. We haven’t spoken in decades, I am not kidding. We spoke about finances and people who don’t manage finances well, my cousin in England. Money Management is another trait that my Mom passed on. She has always been good with money. By the end of lunch we were still smiling and laughing. We’ve both been working on our relationship and now I can see that it’s all been worth it.
When my Granddad got sick a few years ago it started to bring us together more. It made me think of what I wanted from my Mom. Realistically. We can’t go back in time and she wasn’t a perfect Mother but now she tries. Losing my Granddad made me realize how much I do care about her and life is too short.
Next year I think I’ll be looking forward to Mothers Day and in the meantime I will pay attention to her way of showing she cares instead of wondering why she doesn’t do it the way I conjured up in my head. At the end of the day her way really speaks volumes.
I love my Mom.