It was Mothers Day on Sunday, how was your Mothers Day?
I’m not a Mother (except to a Basset, that counts right?) but this weekend I didn’t have him (I have joint custody of said Basset, who just had surgery and is recovering with his “Dad” he’s in good hands).
Mothers Day for me is about my Mother. It’s not a day I usually look forward to and this year I decided that I was just going to suck it up and not take things so personally. I was going to listen to the compliment and block out the sentence that comes after. My Mom is pretty good at the old one two. The compliment as bait and then the backhand, so you’re not quite sure if it was a compliment or not. So on Sunday I took the carrot and ducked the backhand.
You know what happened? I had a lovely afternoon with my Mom. She was delighted with her card and the chocolates I got her. Loved that we went for brunch at a simple little place. My Mom was on her best behaviour and so was I. We talked travel, my Mom is heading to Brazil soon to go kayaking. My Mother is seventy-two. She loves to travel, last year she went to Bhutan. We talked about plans for my next trip to Iceland, perhaps a love of travel is a good trait passed on.
We spoke about family back in England and even briefly about my brother and her grandson. Those were danced around but handled with care. My brother and I do not get along. At all. We haven’t spoken in decades, I am not kidding. We spoke about finances and people who don’t manage finances well, my cousin in England. Money Management is another trait that my Mom passed on. She has always been good with money. By the end of lunch we were still smiling and laughing. We’ve both been working on our relationship and now I can see that it’s all been worth it.
When my Granddad got sick a few years ago it started to bring us together more. It made me think of what I wanted from my Mom. Realistically. We can’t go back in time and she wasn’t a perfect Mother but now she tries. Losing my Granddad made me realize how much I do care about her and life is too short.
Next year I think I’ll be looking forward to Mothers Day and in the meantime I will pay attention to her way of showing she cares instead of wondering why she doesn’t do it the way I conjured up in my head. At the end of the day her way really speaks volumes.
I love my Mom.
OMG I almost forgot to write a post for today. Have you noticed the posts have seemed rushed lately? I have, sorry. Sometimes I totally suck.
That’s my bad planning. It’s that year end Christmas shopping, clearing stuff up for year end and just general dragging my feet. It happens to me every December. I get in a funk, I’m not a Christmas person. It’s more something I endure every year.
I’m very glad that people enjoy Christmas and kids seem to make a big difference. They should, it’s really for them. They get toys and stockings and the day is fun and as a child I did enjoy Christmas.
Now I am single, 43 and get to spend Christmas with my Mother. It’s just the two of us, I have a brother but that’s a story for another day but I will just say he doesn’t partake in family events.
So it will be Mom and I. Last year I did the whole turkey thing but it’s kinda silly for two people so this year we’re having goulash and I’ll figure something out for dessert. There will be the opening of a present or two. Neither of us really needs or wants anything but there is always something to open. We will watch the Queens speech, something my we do every year. Then I will put on a movie and Mom will fall asleep.
So it’s not a bad day by any stretch of the imagination. It’s just hard to be festive when there is only two of you.
We also have one of those relationships where we take everything the other one says either the wrong way or personally. On Christmas though we both tread carefully and try to play nice. Over the past year since my Granddad passed away we have actually learned to navigate around each other a little more gracefully.
We had to, Granddad was our buffer.
I will break out a few Christmas decorations, get a movie ready, make a nice dinner and have a lovely day with Mom. One in which I might not appreciate right away but in the long run will be happy for all the time we have spent together.
One year ago my Granddad passed away. He was my favourite person. He was a chef, he was funny, he was quiet and he loved sports. I still find myself watching golf on Sundays because it reminds me of him.
This is my favourite picture of him at the Donkey Sanctuary in Sidmouth Devon:
This is the house he used to live in:
He loved to compete and took part in the Senior Games every year:
Thinking of my Granddad and missing him today. I love you Granddad.