How about a person in economy who thinks they SHOULD be in first class? Who complains from the moment they see they’re seat? Who does one of my biggest pet peeves on a flight and puts both of their bags in the overhead bin?

(ONE up top ONE under the seat in front of you, these are the rules!)

Once seated she took off her shoes and put them under the seat in front of me. Yes. I told her to move them and she did, while rolling her eyes.

She tried to settle in but couldn’t get comfortable, she must have elbowed me at least ten times during the flight and kept fidgeting. Then hanging her feet on the magazine holder and continuously kicking the seat of the poor old guy in front of her. She bent the magazines and tore them. She also kept stabbing the screen switching from movie to movie and apparently none were to her liking and her stabbing was not to the liking of the man in front of her.

When the food came she wanted vegetarian and was disappointed to learn that a vegetarian meal needs to be ordered in advance, even funnier she asked what her choices were with the red wine. Well I’ll tell you sweetie there is only one and it’s bad.

When she got ready to sleep she took out a blow up neck pillow and then kept squishing it so it would make a squeaky noise, this amused her. Annoyed the f*ck out of me. When she had finished her wine she put her glass on my tray and put hers up. Ummm no she can’t do that because she annoys me. If I liked her I wouldn’t mind but she was the worst person I had ever sat next to. So I handed her glass back to her, again I got an eye roll.

She would also continuously sigh and hum and smack her lips. While reading a magazine she would flip the pages and then turn each page loudly and sigh, hrrmph and make other random noises each time she encountered a new article.

Then she brought out the chips flinging crumbs everywhere and sucking on her fingers. This always grosses me out.

Eventually she did drift off and even in sleep kept fidgeting. She looked about mid twenties but I’ve met five year olds that can sit still longer.

At the end of the flight she jumped up and squeezed her way into the aisle to try and push by everybody, it didn’t work. She had to wait her turn just like everybody else.

I’m surprised nobody punched her, it looked close at one point when she came face to face with the man who had been sitting in front of her but she was oblivious to his dirty looks. What’s it like to have no awareness of others?

I wish her the best and am sure the sun shines all the time in her little world but I hope I never sit next to her on a flight ever again. Next time I might punch her.