Here is the story I promised from yesterday.
So a friend of a friend is trying to “win” her ex back. He has no interest. From what I’ve heard he just wants to move on without her. She can’t let go and she calls, texts and emails him everyday (since last December). LONG messages of love and longing and what sounds like desperation. It all reeks of desperation which will generally make anyone run in the other direction. After receiving a text back from the ex that said “SERIOUSLY LEAVE ME ALONE” (we know when something is in all caps the person is yelling). So now he’s angry, he’s fed up and YELLING! What does our friend do? Sends him back this:
Another night slowly closes in,
And I feel so lonely.
Touching heat freezing on my skin,
I pretend you still hold me.
I’m going crazy, I’m losing sleep.
I’m in too far, I’m in way too deep over you.
I can’t believe you’re gone.
You were the first, you’ll be the last.
Wherever you go, I’ll be with you.
Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you.
Whenever you need someone to lay your heart and head upon.
Remember: after the fire, after all the rain,
I will be the flame.
I will be the flame.
Yes those are the lyrics to “The Flame” by Cheap Trick
First she yelled, screamed, cried and argued so much that he stopped talking to her. Stopped returning her emails. Stopped responding to her texts, except to yell “SERIOUSLY LEAVE ME ALONE”. Apparently Plan B is ……… send cheesy 80’s lyrics? Oh yeah that’ll get him back.
I want to cover my face and hide I’m so embarrassed for her. I cringe thinking of his face opening that text. WTF????? (more yelling)
Oh Sweetie…. she really needs to break the communication habit. If I was her friend I would have wrestled the phone out of her hand and hidden her computer.
Yes break-ups suck, especially if you are the one who was dumped but in those moments when you want to call, text, email… stop yourself. If you need to cry go ahead and cry. I’ll give you three, you can send three messages and if you get nothing back move on.
It’ll get easier but first you have to let go. The time immediately after is so emotional and as she has experienced you may think you’re calling to say “I love you, please come back…….” but somewhere along the way you don’t hear what you want to and because your emotions are already heightened it turns into yelling and name calling. The opposite of what you want to do.
So I’m thinking 21 days, she should have no contact for 21 days. Then maybe she won’t care to get him back after stepping away and getting some perspective (there is no perspective if you are sending over 20 messages a day to somebody who is not responding). Maybe she’ll shake her head and be able to communicate in a rational way. Probably not.
Maybe she should go listen to Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill for a week or two and get all the frustration out, write a letter and burn it. Then pick herself up, brush herself off and head back out there. Find a new one to practice her crazy on because I don’t think the old one is ever coming back.
Maybe this is the song she should have sent:
Cheap Trick – I Want You